I WRITE THINGS
After finding out that I too could have a rocket in my pocket in the form of one Mr. Grey, I decided to give it a spin. I mean, what’s a girl to do? I know! Conduct an entire conversation with this sexual robot using only the lyrics from Chaka Khan’s “Im Every Woman.” Because.
Occasionally I'm allowed in the presence of greatness from the other side of my television screen or behind the steel-chests of the security guards who have me in custody. Luckily, for me, I got to chat with some greatness.
It sounds like completing your magnum opus would be a piece of cake, once you learn how to effectively work the term into everyday conversation. Surprisingly, though, I have found that is not the case. So what do you do until it is magically complete? Until sudden fame hits you over the head with a …
Continue reading "Current State in the Writing Process: Waiting for the Messiah"
This is not a real post. This is one of those shameless promotional things in which I wave something shiny in front of your face and beg you not to turn away. For a while now I have been doing this fun little thing in which I procrastinate writing ( and indulge myself) by making …
Well it seems that despite our best efforts we are going to keep getting more of the Trump. This time as a host on SNL, which he is probably more suited for than behind a podium at the presidential debate. So many scenarios could happen. So many things could be said. So much of the …
1. Women in Tory Burch flats 2. Identical twins 3. Waiters/ Waitresses 4. Unexpected Siri interruptions 5. People with yoga mats 6. Restaurants without printed menus 7. Guys in long-sleeve tees 8. Botoxed women 9. Quiet talkers 10. Chain noises 11. Children on bikes 12. Jamba Juice boosts 13. Flavored teas 14. Umbrellas 15. Whole …
This may sound like a ridiculous task: the cataloging of all the passerby I have courageously handed my card to and said "be in touch." In truth, it's not. People terrify me. 1. My Mother If I were to judge the stake in the corporation that is me, she would have the highest based on …
Continue reading "All The Times I’ve Handed Out My Business Card"
I should start by saying I am always on a quest for tips to aid me in antisocial behavior. Not to fix it, to continue it. My beloved and scratched iPod classic has decided to no longer play anything from the classic rock era. Which is ironic since I have been told by beanie-wearing fourth …
Continue reading "Confession: There’s Nothing Coming Out of These Obnoxious Headphones"
So I don’t know about you, but I’m poor. Not like I have a dog on a chain, dreadlocks and hang out in front of bodegas. But in the way that I have to pay tuition for art school and live in a shoebox I can’t afford. I count my change and bring it to …
Continue reading "10 Ways to Casually Pretend You Aren’t Poor"
